I never gave much thought to having kids, in fact I never imagined what gender I would even prefer. I got married in February 2018 and we agreed to give it about a year before we even started trying for kids.
A few months in, I started noticing strange symptoms like my periods becoming irregular and very heavy and clotted. I went to see a gynaecologist and found out I had fibroids. One was huge and had basically covered one fourth of the space in my uterus. To say I was crushed was an understatement, I really cried that day. I had a surgery to have it removed and I thought at this point all was well. The symptoms would however not go away, so I visited a second gynaecologist who diagnosed me with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) another blow.
I was put on medication and asked to lose some weight and I would be fine. I started the weight loss journey and just as I made gains I realized I was pregnant. Honestly I had mixed feelings because I wasn’t sure how it was going to be. Here I was on a low carb diet and with a very difficult first month of pregnancy where all I craved was GA kenkey and very very very hot shito. It was a real struggle but we seemed to be making gains.
I went for my scan at week 8 and there was a heartbeat, the baby I had named “baby” had a heartbeat. I was ecstatic honestly; I was over the moon. Then the worst happened. I went for the scan at 12 weeks and the heartbeat had disappeared.
No one on this planet can imagine how I really felt that day. It was the worst day of my life. I was numb I couldn’t breathe in fact I couldn’t think. At first I was just quiet then I broke down. OMG! I shouted and cried and cried and screamed till I could not breathe. I asked God to forgive me if I had wronged him in anyway. I begged God to save “baby” for me. It was indeed very very very difficult. I eventually had to take a drug to bring baby out because I had apparently suffered a missed miscarriage (it happens when the heartbeat of the foetus stops but the mother’s body does not dispel it naturally). That process, is a story for another day. (mental note: God bless husbands oooo, because this one was there for me through and through).
So the day for the check up after the procedure came, I went to check if “baby” was completely gone. “Baby” was gone but a new fibroid had appeared together with other issues. You know what? I thought I was broken but I broke all over again that day. I couldn’t imagine this was happening. Like wasn’t the miscarriage enough? The events that have followed are also stories for another time.
Long story short, I am here today and I can smile and be happy not because the issues have disappeared, no ooo. The Fibroids and the PCOS are still there, but my God has been faithful. My husband has been to every single doctor’s appointment. He has been through every single procedure step by step. He has been the recipient of my frustrations, tantrums and anger, like it’s his fault, smh. Kwame has been there for me through and through, never complained and always encouraged me. He is indeed an angel. He has been the vessel of God in this very difficult journey of mine. God will forever bless him. For the record, because Kwame has done such a good job lifting me up no one knows how much pain I have gone through. I am sure my family members and friends think there is some supernatural strength in me. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah…nooo it’s been God working through my husband.
I am sharing my story and journey to encourage someone. You are not alone. I am here still on my journey to having my kids, but I know where there is life there is hope and I also know all things work together for the good of those who love the lord. Romans 8:28.