Over the past couple of weeks, I have been getting a lot of requests to have Kobby share his experience, narrate his side of the story, his emotions and feelings throughout his journey as a dad. It was very funny seeing these comments because my husband, like I mentioned earlier is an introvert. He is the COMPLETE OPPOSITE of me. He has admitted once that he HATES opening his mouth to speak. In his own words “It takes too much energy and effort”. Those who have met him, will tell you he doesn’t really even open his mouth properly when speaking , just a little crack to let the words out and then he shuts it. So telling stories isn’t his strongest suit. In fact it’s the worst! Lol! He will leave out the juicy details, no dramatization, no facial expressions, NOTHING!; just a plain summary of the story with key details out. You end up with more questions at the end of the story than you did at the beginning. Oh and he also remembers some parts hours later, sometimes the next day. So like I said, he is NOT a storyteller.
After futile efforts to try to convince him to do a write-up for my readers, we settled on a Q&A. I asked questions off the top of my head and he replied in typical “Kobby fashion” –short answers. He started getting more into it towards the end but prepare to doze off a bit……..
“Okay so I’m going to record this interview so that I can transcribe it later.” I said.
“Eno can’t you just make something up, like just type out something and say it’s from me. You and I both know I hate talking. ” he complained
“No I need it to be as authentic as possible. I can’t write stuff you’ll say. Everyone who knows you, will know it’s not you. It has to come from you. I’m just asking a few questions and that’s it.” I said
“Okay” he replied, looking visibly annoyed.
Me: * sounding cheerful* Alright, so how did you feel when you found out I was pregnant?
Kobby: * long pause * I felt very happy and then I felt nervous. * unenthusiastic facial expression *
Me: Were you prepared, like did you feel prepared?
Me: Ok then what made you happy?
Kobby: I was happy because I get to have my own baby.
Me: Did you expect it?
Kobby: I knew it would happen but I just didn’t know when.
Me: * scratches head for questions *Okay umm how about throughout the pregnancy? How did you feel about my behaviour throughout the pregnancy and how I handled things and all that? How was our relationship like?
Kobby: You started becoming very annoying…
Me: Okay.. * trying not to laugh while letting out a small laugh* And what else?
Kobby:* laughing * That’s it.
* Both laughing uncontrollably at this point *
Me: What were the annoying things I was doing?
Kobby: ooohhh… like everyday you had to look for something for us to argue about.
Me: Alright, so that was basically it?
Me: * still trying to get more out of him * But then, how did you feel about my behaviour?
Kobby: You know me, I like my peace of mind so…. I…I didn’t understand why everything was becoming so dramatic with you
Me: Ok so how did you handle it?
Kobby: I just had to learn to go through it and to be more patient, which I never really learnt.
Me: So as the days were drawing closer, how did you feel?
Kobby: I was getting excited but it was also sad because you were in pain.
Me: I was peeing?
Kobby: No you were in pain
Me: Oh okay, pain
Me: So once I told you I was in labour, what went through your mind?
Kobby: Where was I? Was I at Naa’s dinner?
Kobby: You were in pain, but you looked okay so I was enjoying the dinner. I think it’s the next morning that we took you to the hospital right?
Kobby: Yea, and the pain started getting worse and I just kept feeling bad.
Me: So as you were driving, what was going through your mind?
Kobby: Driving to the hospital?
Kobby: I was just trying to get you there on time and safely and then I was trying to say things that would keep your mind off the pain
Me: Did you feel mentally prepared to be in the labour ward?
Kobby: Yea! I did… but then when I got there I realized that I wasn’t prepared.
Me: Okay why?
Kobby: ummm because I was seeing what you were going through and stuff and I couldn’t do anything about it so I just felt helpless.
Me: Was that your first time seeing a woman giving birth?
Kobby: Yea! I’ve never even watched a video before.
Me: And when you saw it, how did that make you feel?
Kobby: As I was seeing it, I was horrified but after everything, you know, I felt as if I run around the whole building because I was panting. Right after that, I had to get DJ’S bath stuff ready for the nurses to bath him so I had to shift my focus on him. I also felt as if you had been through alot. I felt tired for you
Me: Aww.. so once everything was done and the baby was out, what went through your mind when you first saw him?
Kobby: I was happy he was fine. I wondered why he looked fair and I realized you were getting back to normal which I was impressed by. If I had gone through that, I would be lying down resting but you were already sitting up.
Me: You thought he was looking fair?
Kobby: Yea like a fair baby because we’re both dark. He was dark when he came out but after they put him under that light ..I don’t know what it’s called and they gave him a bath, he looked fair. Maybe we have to go back to the hospital to check. *laughs*
*Both burst into laughter*
Me: The ride home with the baby, what went through your mind?
Kobby: I was just thinking he was too small for the car seat but I knew it was the right thing to do. He wasn’t crying and he was much lighter then, so it was easier to carry him in it.
Me: The days that followed…I know you were on paternity leave so how were your first days of fatherhood?
Kobby: I remember I was scared to carry him because he was so small and fragile but I finally learnt how to. I remember I had to be delicate with him because he still had the “thing” on his navel. Ummm so yea anytime I was carrying him I just had to be very careful but I was happy you were both at home. I think that’s when you started acting sad. Some days I would be frustrated but besides that I was glad you were both at home.
Me: How was it like when you had to resume work?
Kobby: I felt a bit weird. I had to keep calling you guys to check on you but I was happy your mom was around to help you.
Me: How did my post-partum recovery process affect you?
Kobby: To be very honest, I didn’t really get it. I felt you had a child so I didn’t get why you were sad. It was weird to me. After I read a bit about it, I started understanding a bit but I still felt you were just being spoilt.
Me: Did you really read about it? Be honest
Kobby: Yea I googled a few things.. just the definition of what it is , why it happens and stuff like that but not so in depth. I didn’t think you were depressed. I was convinced you were sad because now things weren’t about you but about the baby all the time. That’s how I understood it initially and thats why I was also unhappy.
Me: Mmmm interesting. This is really therapeutic
Kobby: * laughs*
Me: I mean i knew you were thinking I was ungrateful for my baby but I had no idea you were thinking I was acting spoilt… Okay so after the baby and the recovery, how did you feel now that our baby was growing and hitting his milestones and all of that?
Kobby: Ever since then I’ve been very happy because now that I have a job that allows me to work from home I get to see him all the time… smiling..screaming.. and all that so I never miss a milestone.
Me: Alright Mr Q we’re done!
Kobby: Thank God!
I knew this interview was 10 minutes of pure torture for him but at least now you know his side as well. After listening to the recording he said “Eno you can’t put this up. Is that how I sound? Do you want to lose readers or what?” “Haha! But at least they will see your personality and get to know you more. Do you want to do it all over again and sound more enthusiastic? ” I asked . “Yea… to come to think of it no, I don’t have any more to say.” he responded .
We both laughed